The period after the traditional summer holidays, usually September when the schools go back, sees a steep increase in people contacting solicitors about divorce. Why should that be the case? The holidays are usually a period of fun and relaxation for most people. For others, those couple of weeks together in close proximity just exposes the existing cracks in a relationship that the day to day routines at other times helps us avoid confronting.

The reality of modern life is that many couples don’t always spend that much time together during a normal week. Often both couples will be working and just passing each other at meal and sleep times. They also often lead reasonably separate social lives. That sounds a little cold but it is the reality for many people.

The following are suggestions on how to manage some of the potential flash points, though even taking note of the following advice, you should consider some sort of counselling if holidays are continually a very stressful time.

Hot weather doesn’t suit everyone….

The actual reality of having to deal with forty degrees of heat for a fortnight can be very uncomfortable for some people. We had a couple of days of it in the UK this year and that was enough for many. Heat can disrupt sleep patterns and make people more likely to argue and be irritable. As you have probably arrived feeling tired anyway after an early flight, the effects can be exacerbated. Add in a bit of alcohol and inhibitions drop away.

Why go to a hot destination if you don’t like it?… I hear you ask. Well, social convention for many is that summer holidays should be spent in locations hotter than your usual place of residence. It is worth being honest about your true feelings on the matter at the start of the planning stage if you don’t like the idea rather than resenting every day you are in a Villa in the heat.

You don’t have to do everything together

Do you tend to do everything as a collective in your day to day life? Probably not. For many people, day to day life has a fair amount of time being alone or away from family members. Whether this is on the daily commute, after the kids have gone to school or working from home, we often have a lot less interaction with family members then we actually realise.

The summer holidays change all of that. Suddenly you can find yourself in close proximity to your partner and children for pretty much 24/7 over a two-week period. Yes, of course it’s great to spend time together, have some fun and break the usual work/eat/sleep pattern but it can also be intrusive and at times overwhelming.

If you are able, get yourself out for a walk early in the morning or go for a solo-siesta post lunch. You can be completely honest about your need to get some time away from everyone else. If you make it clear you love being together as well then, most people will understand and not resent it. It also helps if you offer to facilitate the needs of your partner  so they can have an afternoon away or even a complete day free where you take the kids elsewhere. This solo time can change a family holiday dynamic entirely.

Talk about things

If someone is annoying you, talk to them about it. Keeping silent will just wind you up even further. If you do decide to talk to them do it in a constructive way and have some self-awareness about your own habits that may be annoying other people. Talking about things can stop many situations reaching breaking point and also helps clear the air and avoiding those holiday ‘atmospheres’ or ‘silences’ that many people encounter.

These are just a few suggestions for managing the summer holidays. Of course, if you don’t find the holidays at all stressful then that’s excellent. It should be a memorable and fun time and it is for most! However, if you get to the stage when you need some legal advice, then speak to a family law solicitor and get some peace of mind.

Need some legal advice on a Family Law matter?

Contact rhw’s friendly Family Law Team. email:   call: 01483 302000 or alternatively check out rhw’s family law brochure which may answer some of your questions.